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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

BERGAMO GIORNI 11: ROADTRIP-MONACO


CAN YOU ALL REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN A "ROADTRIP" IS ALL YOU COULD THINK OR DREAM ABOUT? POSSIBLY SPRING BREAK IN COLLEGE, OR A FREE SUMMER WEEKEND, OR FRIENDS ROLL INTO TOWN AND KIDNAP YOU FOR A FEW DAYS OF DEBAUCHERY? RING A BELL WITH ANY OF THESE BLOG FOLLOWERS?

A EUROPEAN PERK IS THAT WITHIN A FEW HOURS OF ANYWHERE ON THIS CONTINENT YOU CAN BE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY...ANOTHER LAND..A PLACE WHERE THE FOOD, LANGUAGE, CULTURE IS IMMEDIATELY FOREIGN.

WITH THE WEATHER IN BERGAMO COMPLETELY UNCOOPERATIVE, BRUTA TEMPO,  AND A FREE WEEKEND ON OUR HANDS IT WAS TIME TO PERUSE SOME OPTIONS..2 PARAMETERS WERE TO FOLLOW..1) WE WERE FOLLOWING THE SUN AND WARMER WEATHER...THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER, JIMMY BUFFET ONCE SAID, "CHANGES IN LATTITUDES, CHANGES IN ATTITIUDES." WE WERE LOOKING TO CHANGE BOTH; LATTITIUDE AND ATTITUDE...AND 2) WE WERE DOING THIS ON THE CHEAP...NO PLANES..NO HIGH SPEED TRAINS...NO ORIENT EXPRESS...

HOW ABOUT DIAL UP HERZ AND FUNDANGLE THE OPERATORS INTO A REAL SPORTS CAR FOR UNDER 100 EURO FOR 3 DAYS..HOW ABOUT 4 GUYS IN AN ALPHA-ROMEO..DESTINATION MONACO..




                             
                                OUR SPORTS CAR...THE ALPHA ROMEO


KEEP OUR EXPENSES LOW SO THAT WE CCOULD TAKE SPARE CHANGE RIGHT TO GRAND CASINO IN MONTE CARLO..007 STYLE...THE DEBATE AFTER CAR RENTALS AND ITALIAN ROADBLOCKS BECAME WHEN SHOULD WE DEPART?..OPTIONS THAT EXISTED WAS 2100 HRS FROM BERGAMO ON FRIDAY NIGHT WITH ETA OF 1:30AM..OR DEPART SATURDAY MORNING AT 0800 HOURS AND FEEL SOMEWHAT FRESH FOR A 4-4!/2 CARRIDE

QB, BRAD VAN PELT, MADE HIS EXECUTIVE OPINION WITH AN HYSTERICAL SHOUT THROUGH THE VODAPHONE OF..."WHAT THE F**K ARE WE WAITING ON BOYS?"..20 MINTUTES LATER WE HAD TRUNK OF ALPHA-ROMEO LOADED WITH PROVISONS OF ALL SORTS READY FOR THE PROVINCE OF MONACO...NO MAPS, NO CARTE OR HARDLY THE USE OF GPS..JUST GOOD OLD FASHION ITALIAN ROAD SIGNS AND SOME SOLID MALE INTUITION..

ALMOST ALL PORTS OF CALL IN ITALY CAN BE REACHED BY THE OMNISCIENT GREEN SIGN OF AN AUTOSTRADA....INZIA IL VILAGGIO BY JUMPING ON THE A4 OUTSIDE FROM OUR APARTMENT AND HEAD TOWARDS MILANO..PICK UP THE A7 GOING SOUTH AND WEST TO THE EMBARCATION OF CHRITOFORO COLUMBUS, GENOA, AND THEN CRUISE ALONG THE ITALIAN MEDITERRANEAN TAKING THE A10 THROUGH SCENIC TOWNS OF SAN REMO, VENTIMIGLIA, AND INTO THE COTE' AZUR OF MENTON AND INTO FINAL DESTINATION OF MONACO..

NOT A WRONG TURN..NOT A MISSTEP..COUPLE OF PIT STOPS AT THE AUTOGRILL AND WE WERE IN FRANCE..

NORMALAMENTE, ON A GOOD ROADTRIP..TUNES ARE IMPORTANT..AND WHILE THE ALPHA ROMEO DID HAVE A CD PLAYER AND IPOD DOCKING STATION NONE OF THAT WOULD BE NECESSARY..IN FACT I DON'T REMEMBER ONE SONG ON THE VIAGGIO..

THATS BECAUSE QB BRAD VAN PELT CAN TALK..CONVERSAZIONE NON FERMATA...HE IS IN THE WINE BUSINESS AND HE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT VINO..BUT HE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT EVERYTHING WITHOUT COMING ACROSS AS A "NO-IT-ALL."..HE JUST HAS A LOT OF ENERGY AND A L0T TO SAYAND HE ISN'T BASHFUL ABOUT HOLDING ANYTHING BACK..I ALWAYS SAY THAT QB'S HAVE TO BE LOUD AND THEY HAVE TO BE HEARD AND THOSE ATTRIBUTES DESCRIBE VAN PELT TO A TEE.




                   VAN PELT..SAYS.."THE ROSE' IS GOOD IN MONACO"

AT ANY RATE THE TIME WENT FAST...BEFORE WE NEW IT WE WERE AT THE FRONT DESK HARRASSING OMAR INTO UNDERSTANDING  THAT WE HAD "PAPERS" THAT SHOULD ALLOW US THE "FRIENDS OF FAMILY" DISCOUNT WHICH WOULD LET US OCCUPY ROOMS AT 59 EURO A NIGHT..RIDICULOUS!!! THE FIGHT WAS ON FROM 1;30-2:OO AM..WE WOULD HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT AT A LATER TIME IF WE WERE SO FORTUNATE..

IN THE MEANTIME IT WAS TIME TO TOUCH AND GO..STRAIGHT TO MONTE CARLO AND FIND CASINO ACTION...FUNNY HOW THE BOUNDARIES WORK IN MONACO..MONACO IS A PROVINCE..SPEARATE FROM FRANCE..MONTE CARLO IS THE CAPITOL...OUR HOTEL WAS ACROSS THE STREET FROM STADT LOUIS 11...WHERE A CALCIO FRIENDLY BETWEEN ITALY AND CAMEROON WAS PLAYED IERI DOPODOMANI..ON THE SIDE OF THE STREET WHERE STADIUM IS IS MONACO...ON THE SIDE OF STREET WHERE HOTEL IS IS FRANCE..TAXIS ARE NOT PERMITTED TO CROSS INTO FRANCE, SO WE HAD TO GRAB TAXI UP AND OVER THE STREET..BIZARRE BUT A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

IT IS NOT LOST ON MOST AMERICANS WHO VISIT FRANCE THAT THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH FRANCE IS THAT THERE ARE TOO MANY DAMN FRENCH..ITS TRUE AND I AM SURE WITH THIS WORLD FAMOUS BLOG THAT IT WILL SOUND AS IF I AM A "HATER."..I ASURE YOU I AM NOT...THE ONE THING THAT IS CLEAR ABOUT THE FRENCH IS THIS: THEY DON'T GIVE A DARN WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THEM..I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND AND SOMEWHAT RESPECT THEIR DECISION.

I BRING THIS TOPIC UP NOW BECAUSE UPON ARRIVING AT THE GRAND CASINO-MONTE CARLO..NO ONE THERE COLD CARE LESS THAT 4 AMERICANS WHO LOOKED LIKE THEY ROAD TRIPPED IN, WERE AT THEIR CASIN0..AIUTO WAS IN SHORT SUPPLY.




                       VAN PELT...MIKE..BALDI..DREW.....MONTE CARLO

ALSO NOT LOST ON US WAS THE TIME OF YEAR..MARCH 5TH IS FAR TOO EARLY FOR THE COTE'..IN FACT MONACO IS IN A DEEP SLUMBER..FAR TOO FREDDO.DI PIU"..THE YACHTS LOOK UNTENDED TOO..IT IS STILL ANOTHER 6 WEEKS AWAY BEFORE THE GRAND PRIX OF MONACO AND THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL WAKE UP THE RICH FROM THEIR WINTER NAP

IT DOESN'T DISTRACT FROM THE BEUATY, THE LOCATION, THE HISTORY, THE AWE, THE SMELL OF MONEY, OR THE HUNT TO BRING DOWN THE GRAND CASINO..MONTE CARLO..THIS WAS OUR GOAL.

NO SENSE IS DELIBERATING ANY FURTHER..THE FIRST NIGHT RESULTS WERE IN QUICKLY...IN FACT, THE ONLY WAY THEY COULD HAVE BEEN IN QUICKER IS IF WE DROPPED OUR EURO ON THE GROUND AND WERE MET BY A HOOVER VACUUM CLEANER TO SUCK UP..IT WAS A SWIFT AND DEVASTATING AND TOTAL DEFEAT.WE WOULD START THE NEXT DAY IN THE HOLE.

BUT THE NEXT DAY WAS QUICKLY UPON US AND WHAT A SPECTACULAR DAY IT WAS...CAMERA NUMERO #407 OPENED UP TO A BALCONY THAT HAD THE WARM RAVAGING IL SOLE' MAKING US SQUINT TO FACE THE SUN..EVENTUALLY OUR OCCHIO ADJUSTED TO ALLOW US TO SEE THE BELLA MARINA LINED WITH YACHTS EXTENDING FROM CALIFORNIA TO THE CAYMAN ISLANDS TO SARDEGNA TO THE YACHTING WORLD OF COSTA DEL SOLE, COTE' AZUR, AND THE ITALIAN MEDITERRANEAN...WHEN DO THESE YACHTS GET SUPERSIZED?..I MEAN AT WHAT POINT ARE THEY BIG ENOUGH?




                               MARINA.......MONACO....WANNA PLAY???

MOLTI CAPPUCINI TARDI, IT WAS TIME TO PASSAGIATO THROUGH THE STRIKING BRILLIANCE OF WHAT IS A SEASIDE THAT CAN NO LONGER BE CREATED..STATELY, ORDERLY, QUIETLY, ELEGANTLY, THE SUPERSIZED RICH OF THE WORLD DESCEND ON MONTE CARLO TO DPOSIT THEIR HEIRLOOMS, THEIR TRUSTS, THEIR EARNINGS IN SAFETY BOXES THAT EVEN THE GRUBBING GOVERNMENTS CAN'T ACCESS..AND FOR THAT THE WEALTHY NEED TO BE TENDED TOO...THAT IS WHAT MONACO IS..IT IS A WELL TENDED SEASIDE RESORT TOWN WHERE NONE TOO MANY QUESTIONS ARE EVER ASKED AND FAR FEWER ANSWERS ARE EVER DELIVERED

THERE IS A REASON THAT THE WORLDS MOST FAMOUS RACE, THE GRAND PRIX OF MONACO, TAKES PLACE IN AND AROUND MONTE CARLO..IT IS BEAUTIFUL...THE STREETS WIND THROUGH NARROW SLITS WITH A FLASH OF ACQUA SEA, A FLASH OF RUGGED ROCK, THE SMELL OF A BOULANGERIE, THE SWEET AROMA OF SCENTED AIR..AND EVERYWHERE SOMEONE IS REVVING THE RPM'S OF A FINE EUROPEAN SPORTSCAR

LOOKIE THERE..A FERRARI..OR THERE..A LAMBERGHINI..OR HOW ABOUT THE ZIPPINESS OF A PORSCHE...OR THE WHINE OF A TESTAROASA..THEY ARE ALL HERE AND ON DISPLAY..YOU HAVE TO LOOK AND MARVEL AT HOW A SPECIAL PRIVALEDGED SECT CAN BUZZ AROUND IN A SUCH A SMALL BUCOLIC HAMLET WITH THE FINEST OF ANYTHING KNOWN TO MAN AT THEIR WELL MANICURED FINGERTIPS..



                  
                         I PREFER MY FERRARI IN BLACK


LIKE A GOOD ROADTRIP AT COLLEGE UNDERGRAD SPRING BREAK BUDGET, SATURDAY NIGHTS DINNER WOULD BE PURCHASED AND ENJOYED IN CAMERA #407..FORMAGGIA...SALAMI..TOMATOES..FRESH BAKED FRENCH BREAD..VINO FROM LOCAL VINEYARDS..AND ALWAYS SEMPRE.."BIRRA READY."

ALL WOULD BE ENJOYED WITH THE UNTIMATE GOAL TO GO 007 STYLE BACK TO THE CASINOS TO LET THEM KNOW THAT WE KNOW BASIC STRATEGY BLACKJACK AND ARE READY TO ADD A MONEY MANAGEMENT SYSTEM THAT EVEN THE SECRETIVE AND SMUG FRENCH HAVEN'T WITNESSED SINCE CARY GRANT LEFT HIS MARK IN "IT TAKES A THIEF"..YEAH BRO..WE COME TO KICK YOUR CAPPED TEETH IN AND THEN AFTER WE FLEECED YOUR "OLD" WORLD MONEY WE WOULD REALLY SHOW YOU HOW ROADTRIPPIN AMERICANOS CAN GO 'MONTE CARLO WILD"

WHAT PROCEEDED TO HAPPEN WAS MIRACULOUS...LIKE THE FRENCH NEED FOR YOU TO SPEAK PERFETTO PARISIAN FRENCH FOR YOU TO GET A FEINT RESPONSE, WE WERE MET BY AN ASSORTMENT OF DEALERS THAT COULD ONLY STRIKE 21.WHETHER IT WAS BLACKJACK ITSSELF, OR A 4-6-2-5-4....21..VENTUNO..THE HARD WAY...THEY STEAMROLLED US WITHOUT SO MUCH AS BLINKING AN EYE..NOT EVEN A PUPPYDOG GLANCE TO SAY.."SORRY BOYS"..NICE TRY..NO THEY WERE MUCH MORE DISMISSIVE THAN THAT

WE WOULD TRY OTHER CASINOS...ONE BY ONE THE BOYS DROPPED..SPRING BREAK BUDGETS DON'T LAST LONG IN MONTE CARLO..BUT I HAD WATCHED THIS MOVIE BEFORE..WHERE WAS THE TABLE THAT HAD THE BUZZ..WHERE THE PITCREW SEEMED SOMEWHAT WORRIED THAT THEY WOULDN'T DEPOCKET EVERY GAMBLER ON ITS PREMISE THAT NIGHT


                                  THE GRAND CASINO...MONTE CARLO

THATS WHERE I ENDED UP AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING..200 EURO MINIMUM..THE FILTHY RICH THAT LINED THE TABLE DON'T HAVE USE FOR BASIC STRATEGY OR BY THE BOOK BLACKJACK..THATS NOT EXCITING ENOUGH...THEY BREAK RULES UNMERCIFULLY..I CRINGED AT A PRINCE RANIER WANNABE WHO DECIDED TO SPLIT 10'S...TWO PERFECT QUEENS FOR HIS OWN STUFFY ENJOYMENT WHILE I SHUT MY EYES PRAYING FOR A COMEBACK AGAINST ALL ODDS

LIKE MOST BLACKJACK PLAYED AROUND THE WORLD IN PITS JUST LIKE MONTE CARLO, ONE LOSES FAR FAR MORE THAN THEY WIN..BUT WHEN YOU DO WIN, EVEN IF ITS JUST A SHORT WINNING STREAK, YOU HAVE TO MAXIMIZE YOUR BET...IN THE FINAL 4 HANDS I DID THAT AND TOOK A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONTE CARLO'S MONEY..A COUPLE CENTO EURO..

ENOUGH TO SAY..WHEW..I WAS LUCKY..TIME TO GET OUT OF TOWN, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DID THEY FOLLOWING DAY..

FIRST GAME TO BE PLAYED THIS WEEK VS THE HATED PARMA PANTHERS..DETAILS, AND GAMEPLANS, AND GAMEDAY RITUALS HAVE TO BE PRACTICD..REHEARSED..AND IRONED OUT BEFORE WE TAKE THE THE FIELD AT LANFRANCHI STADIUM IN A TOWN MADE POPULAR BY ITS PARMA PROSCIUTTO HAM AND ITS PARMA PANTHERS OF JOHN GRISHAM FAME

OH YEAH..THE FRENCH WEREN'T THAT BAD..THEY SMILED WHEN I PAID MY BILL AND I LOOKED UP AT THE WALL TO SEE "HIGH SEASON" PRICES...STARTING RATES AT 599 EURO A NIGHT WITH NO SEASIDE VIEWS...THE CLERK SMILED AND SAID THAT IS A BARGAIN AT GRAND PRIX TIME PROVIDED YOU MADE THE RESERVATION LAST YEAR..MONACO IS ASLEEP..THANKS ...WE HAD A NICE LOOK AROUND

NOW WE ARE FOCUSED AND SERIOUS ABOUT THIS SUNDAYS MATCH....STAY TUNED 

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